inalienablerecently have been thinking quite alot
partly because of trust issue again.
i don’t know why trust is so important to me
maybe because i lost it so dearly thrice
i wanted to love you so much like i never
i never thought i would fall so deep down
i wanted to accomplish so many dreams with you
i wish you could fulfill my dream with me
i wish you be take me to my hubby’s shop
i wanted to do so many things and now….
i know i will still care and love you like i did,
but the trust barrier is the one i have to cross over.
i don’t know if trust can return to our side
but i know that love and passion in you didn’t
tears come and go, but the pain wasn’t.
it stays there making me unable to sleep,
making me unable to do my routine.
i really do want to get back to you but
the process might hurt you afterall.
everything i did seems to be hurting you
and i only gain more benefits from you
not only the gifts, the love and the pamper.
all i ever received was your somehow
wholeheartedly love and care sparkles.
maybe we could carry on but trust may take some time.
can we really walk till the end where we set the destination?
it has been a month ever since i update my blog
has been busy with my projects for the past month
then also busy with some outings and visitings
this new year was a huge harvest barhs.
this chinese new year holidays are the best ever
i spent with my dearest family and new family 
eve and first 3 days spent it with my maternal family
then third and fourth day spent it with baby’s family
love spending the time with them especially baby!
also examinations are coming my way again. :’(
this 1 month also i’ve got interesting outings.
met up with my DIDIs for awhile after i came back
went to singapore flyer with baby
had WGS CNY reunion lunch with fellow schoolmates
went visiting mama and daddy with baby
this month can say it’s a fruitful and stressing month
but soon it will gonna end on next wednesday i guess
but after the exams it will be a torturing 2 weeks
because baby is gonna go for his field camp for 10-12days 
so this weekend i hope it’s a nice weekend spent with him.
somethings when you don’t hold on,
they will leave gradually one day.
somethings when you hold on tightly,
they also leave cause of the pressure.
how do you know to hold on or let go,
i guess it’s just too difficult for me/anyone.
only when people receive the end result,
then they know what to do/react.
but some will always be lost or perhaps
still standing at the original point waiting.
but sometimes somethings are not worth,
not worth waiting; not worth loving.
because all of it are a piece of shit!
cause it don’t care what you need/feel/want.
making you drop into the deepest ocean,
drowning you with all the sorrows and pressure.
when everything are just over,
calm oceans are here but never once the same.
just like what the tsunami did to the people.
it just resembles what you did to me.
thanks alot dude, giving me a tsunami.!
有些事并不是说你做到一百分，
你就会得到奖赏或称赞。
有些事并不是说你吞忍，
就代表你的的容忍度很好。
痛苦是一个坏事的开始，
伤心事一个坏待遇的对待。
有些东西你不停的想，
并不代表你做错了什么。
离开你并不代表我不喜欢你，
而是我们并不适合、难沟通。
痛苦也好， 伤心也罢，都无所谓了。
因为我们并不适合，
有些东西已经不在了，
就没有必要去挽留，或钩钩地。
只好说再见吧，曾经深爱的人。
recently have been indulging in my happiness.
accompanying my baby has been enjoyable,
but this sweet moments is super short. :”(
felt so fortunate to get fetched or picked up by baby,
companion for lunch and help in some work.
time really past so fast and now separation occurs.
have been really tired with all the things,
shan’t mention what was it about. neither did i say.
nothing was mentioned to anyone, just let it kept in me.
really tired of all these, thanks for that torment.
tears flow so much today that i can’t control.
hurt was so much that my mood was dampened.
my limit towards you has reached the bare maximum
yet i can’t do anything about it, cause there’s no power.
guess everything will end soon,
where soon is near yet long for me.
- for the ones i love & the ones that loved me to be happy & healthy.
- for the ones i love & the ones that loved me to prosper in their career/excel in their studies.
- eternal love for baby & me.
- DIDI(s) to stay together, not to quarrel, love each other, be happy & last long with their girlfriend/found their another half.
- BF to be happy, not to be emo again, excel in studies.
- Catherine to last long with Melvyn, find the job that she loves and reasonable pay for her workload, to stay pretty like now.
- Irene to find her desire job with reasonable pay, last long with Rex, to be happy and not get bullied by other people.
- Rex to prosper in his work field, earn lots of money and to be happy.
- wish that my family members & baby’s parents is able to enjoy life to the max with their total energy kept in their body and leada happy life without having any worries.
- i hope i can have a better life, improved life. *if only some know what i’m referring to*
bye to 2010; hello to 2011`
Posted: January 3, 2011 in personal recountTags: a brand new year with a brand new start with a different meaning added to my life
my holidays are quite a relaxing one.
the first week nothing much happen,
just spending my day at home watching show,
then spend my christmas with baby & family.
last week there’s countdown chalet,
was quite a bore though but good for me?
cause i spend most of my time sleeping,
but of course get to see my lovely brothers.
went to wild wild wet for the first time, fun~!
enjoy myself very much there with them.
spend my countdown with baby also.
these weekends watched two movies also.
one was the ghost must be crazy,
while another is love & other drugs.
both movies were quite okay for me.
baby and me went to the helix bridge,
were somehow crazy there playing around.
nice ambience with two insane people.
holidays pass very quickly for me,
i didn’t really enjoy alot but at least,
it’s a time out for me to everything.
& yesterday played kinect with baby & siblings.
was super fun + hilarious to the max luhs.
spend my whole time laughing there.
i guess this year is a brand new start,
& it will be a good start i hope….
& baby’s POP is this saturday. wees~
this year christmas is special i guess
christmas eve gave baby surprise,
a big great surprise that lasted a few days.
i know this lie could not be said but,
i got no idea what thing i bluff him.
but the whole process is a successful one,
& i guess the present was likeable to him.
christmas eve we went to watch yogi bear,
after having the dinner cooked by baby’s mother.
christmas we spent it with baby’s family,
excluding catherine & her beau cause they not free.
we went to marina square to eat myanmar food.
it was delicious but somehow spicy. 
baby got sausage lips after eating that dinner
after which we went to watch movie with irene & rex,
we watched meet the parents: little fockers.
it was a super duper nice, hilarious movie.
after the movie, irene & rex went to meet their friends.
whereas we both wanna go some bridge,
but baby forgot the way to get there,
which made us wake don’t know how far,
till i got so fustrated that we taxi-ed home to sleep.
today we didn’t go out cause we’re too tired,
we 2 piggies slept till almost 2pm for lunch. >”<
catherine bought our lunch for us.
watched despicable me then prepare to book in.
thus i send baby off before going home.
today is the last day of examinations.
past three days has been some kind of sufferings.
don’t know how to explain also but,
to me is just some kind of suffering.
only sotong knows why barhs, hais.!
but after today this suffering will end.
when tears have start to overflow,
when words have yet to be said,
when feelings have yet to be expressed,
when decisions have soon to be finalized.
有些话还没说不代表我已答应或承认，
有些事不代表我不理代表我不在乎。
不要一厢情愿的认为我会被影响，
已经不会，也不可能会了。放弃吧，幼稚鬼。
